From the NYTimes etiquette column (yes, they have one):
My husband and I had our first baby this year. We’re thrilled. And even though my parents got divorced last year, I want both of them to celebrate Christmas with us. So far, they’ve refused to be in the same room together. (It was a messy split.) I told them how important it is for me and my son to celebrate his first Christmas as a family. But they still said no. How can I get them to see how important this is to us?
WTF? I hope if this woman gets divorced it doesn’t hurt as much as it hurt her parents when they split. From their answer:
… your parents’ divorce may be too recent, and the pain too fresh, to accommodate you right now. Don’t be selfish in your zeal for a perfect Christmas for your son (who, let’s face it, won’t even know who’s in the room).
Invite your parents in shifts so they can both attend. And try again next year for an “all hands on deck” holiday, if the situation has improved. You may get what you want, or maybe not. Just remember: Your needs are not the only ones, and compassion is part of the Christmas spirit, too.