I always hated Goldilocks and the three bears. Even as a kid, I thought this is too easy. Life does not give you the perfect porridge, chair and bed. And what was she doing just barging into someone else’s house? I didn’t see her as bold, but as an idiot. Later on, I became irritated at the heavy handed family and gender identifications, which are certainly not unique to this story.
And of course, there is always the confusion that results from Mama and Papa Bear not sharing a bed. WTF? Right up there with Dick Van Dyke. My parents shared a bed, what was with these bears?
But now, what frosts my shorts is that Mama Bear (with whom at this point in my life I identify) had a too small chair (for Goldilocks? how then could she fit her big bear ass into it?), too cold of porridge and too soft of bed. Hell, with those things, I’d be in such a wretched mood that if I was a large carnivore I would have just taken a big bite out of that little irritating monkey child.